Three Sundays ago I received my white coat, which apparently signified that I was officially ready to start medical school. Nothing in my life could have possible prepared me for this, not the summer reading book I was assigned to read, not talking to second years, and definitely not college. I found myself drowning after the first week and I had not even started gross anatomy lab, which I had been dreading thanks to the assigned summer reading book. Well, I have survived two more weeks and I have realized that I am in the right place.
During the first two weeks, I wondered everyday why I decided to do this. There was so much information, so little time, and I could not see the end result. I lost sight of my goal and with that went my motivation. This was somewhat of the problem that I had with the summer reading book. This book was basically about an individual’s experience in gross anatomy lab and the influence it had on her as a person, accompanied with some history of the origin of anatomy. The book highlighted so many difficulties and elaborated on all the negative things that she experienced. I was never able to see her end goal, even when she finally reached her third year and start seeing patients. During this time, she still focused on the worst cases she experienced and the negative experiences she had with doctors. She never seemed to reach a point where all of her hard work came full circle and she was able to apply everything she had learned. I was never able to understand what was the source of her motivation.
Last week I did two things that allowed me to get back on the right track and find my motivation, first I prayed and second I attended an interest meeting. Not that I had not been praying all along, but I focused my prayers and took to my Bible for guidance. I realized that medical school is going to strengthen my relationship with God, and I am excited to have that take place. There is no way in the world I will get out of medical school without God by my side. The interest meeting on the other hand gave me a little perspective and it helped me visualize the plan that is in place for me.
Gross anatomy lab starts this week and I am ready for it. I have God to help me through this, along with an awesome dissection group. I know it will not be easy, but I will get through it. Feel free to pray for me though, it will be greatly appreciated.
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